The first week of the 2026 NFL season is in the books. And one thing remains the same: we may never know what happens inside a black hole, if aliens have ever visited Earth, or what the difference is between a fumble and an incomplete pass.
The NFL should be able to answer that last one, but…nooooo. Just ask Lions QB, Jared Goff.
Anyway, on to week two. The NFL season is merely beginning, and some of you may have discovered that watching football on Sunday afternoons can present some new, tricky situations. For you football-loving spouses, you’ve no doubt fallen prey to trap questions presented during critical moments of the game.
I mean, did you ever get the sense that your spouse asks questions they really don’t want answers to, and they always seem to come up during key moments of the game? Now I’m not saying that they’re doing it just so they can start a fight, but it is important to be prepared.
This week, we got your back. To help you prepare, we’ve researched the top 5 common NFL “trap questions” that spouses are likely to ask while our attention is fixated on the game, and, more importantly, how you should respond to each…
Here they are:
Q: What do you want for dinner?
A: Whatever you’re thinking of right now, my love.
Q: What should we watch tonight?
A: No matter what show we watch, I’ll just be watching you.
Q: What’s the best way to repair the carburetor on a 1988 Ford Ranger that’s stalling out at idle?
A: This is a trick question. She knows the ‘88 Ford Ranger uses a fuel-injected engine, not a carburetor. The issue is probably a dirty throttle body or a small vacuum leak.
Q: Do these pants make me look fat?
A: Get behind me, Satan!
Q: Umm, you DO remember what today is, don’t you honey?
A: Oh, you blew it somewhere! Just throw a flashbang and RUN!
Let’s do the Pix..!
Week One Record: 9 – 7
Thursday Night Football (Pre-picked):
Detroit @ Buffalo: While Lions’ fans shouldn’t panic over that near-historic second-half collapse against the Saints last week (because the Saints might actually be decent), blowing a 21-0 lead is never good when you’re about to face off with the AFC’s top-picked contender without 2 of your starting offensive linemen.
Pick – Buffalo | Strength of Pick: 10 out of 16
Sunday, Sept. 20th
Panthers @ Atlanta: It isn’t often a QB can rack up 350+ yards through the air, including 3 TDs, yet still lose a game by 22 points. But that was week one for Panthers’ QB, Bryce Young.
Atlanta’s offense has more questions at quarterback than it has quarterbacks on the roster, but if there were ever a “best” time to play a team that just gave up 59 points, the time is now…
Pick – Panthers | Strength of Pick: 2 out of 16
The FAA plans to manage the air traffic controller shortage with $875M worth of AI. Is anyone else thinking that’s a bad idea?
Vikings @ Bears: Minnesota’s Rent-a-QB strategy didn’t get off to a great start in week one, though they walked away with a win in their division.
In his debut, Vikings QB Kyler Murray scrambled on a 3rd-and-7 and Green Bay edge rusher Lukas Van Ness turned his brain into oatmeal. Van Ness got penalized 15 yards and a spatula was used to scrape Murray’s corpse off the playing field. Murray never returned to the game.
Bear fans, temper your expectations. Scoring that many points is difficult to ignore, but you didn’t show us a lick of defense in week one.
Pick – Bears | Strength of Pick: 9 out of 16
Eagles @ Titans: QB Cam Ward and the Titans didn’t do much to lead anyone to believe they’re headed for anything special this year. Frankly, it could be an even longer season in Nashville than it is in Cleveland.
But the nod goes to Eagles QB, Jalen Hurts. Hurts recently donated $600K to pay for air conditioning at Philadelphia’s largest high school.
Pick – Eagles | Strength of Pick: 15 out of 16
Steelers @ Patriots: After throwing eight interceptions all of last season, Patriots QB, Drake Maye, threw a league-high three in the season-opener, dropping the contest with the Seahawks. With games coming up against legit contenders, a 0-4 start becomes feasible if New England mucks this one up.
But the production of steel contributes to global warming so, I’m rooting for New England.
Pick – Steelers | Strength of Pick: 4 out of 16
Packers @ Jets: Aaron Rodgers’ two former employers will go at it today. Will Green Bay’s inability to protect second-half leads become a liability again? Last week the Packers gave up 29 unanswered to a division rival’s backup QB.
And while the Jets aren’t exactly known for offensive pyrotechnics, the Packers are one team that can LEAST afford to get off to an 0 – 2 start.
Pick – Packers | Strength of Pick: 6 out of 16
Browns @ Buccaneers: Week one was beyond embarrassing for the Browns, even by this franchise’s low standards. Spotting a playoff contender 31 points before “finding your rhythm” is a bad strategy. But what else should we expect from a team named “The Browns?” Brown what?
Pick – Buccaneers | Strength of Pick: 16 out of 16
Saints @ Baltimore: Ravens’ RB, Derrick Henry, is defying all laws of physics, gravity, and aging – at 32 years old, this beast ran for nearly 150 yards and 3 TDs in a 41 – 23 walkover of the Colts. Henry should have a big day today running against a defensive unit that gave up an average of 5 yards a pop last week!
Pick – Baltimore | Strength of Pick: 11 out of 16
Bengals @ Texans: Ever see “Highlander?” Why did Sean Connery help Connor MacLeod if they were destined to destroy each other?
Pick – Bengals | Strength of Pick: 3 out of 16
Jaguars @ Broncos: No more “gimmes” for the Jaguars. That “warm-up” against Cleveland is now in the past, and Jacksonville won’t have the luxury of coasting as their schedule turns brutal with five straight games against teams with Super Bowl aspirations.
Pick – Jaguars | Strength of Pick: 8 out of 16
Raiders @ Chargers: After an off-season loaded with feel good vibes, the Chargers freakishly dropped their tilt against an inferior Arizona squad in week one. We’re a week in, and just maybe … maybe … Justin Herbert will not be remembered as the greatest quarterback in NFL history, as his coach predicted earlier.
Nonetheless, if there was ever a must-win game in Week 2, the Chargers are staring at it.
Pick – Chargers | Strength of Pick: 12 out of 16
Commanders @ Dallas: They’re the most penalized team in the league, whenever they blitz, opposing QBs seem to have no trouble finding wide open receivers, and they gave up a franchise record in points last season. Welcome to Dallas – where inconsistency and underachievement IS the brand of football.
Pick – Commanders | Strength of Pick: 1 out of 16
Seahawks @ Cardinals: Beating the Chargers in week one was a great start for Arizona’s new coach, Mike LaFleur. Can he beat the reigning world champs on his home turf today?
With Seattle QB, Sam Darnold, sidelined with injury, the Seahawks are officially on upset alert…
Pick – Seahawks | Strength of Pick: 7 out of 16
Dolphins @ 49ers: After San Francisco’s drama-filled offseason, it’s hard for a franchise to draw up a much better start than the Niners had in week one. They had no trouble moving the ball and the defense looked remarkably stout against the so-called “superteam” of 2026 – the Rams.
It looks like the Dolphins will continue to be a painful reminder that Sea World still exists.
Pick – 49ers | Strength of Pick: 14 out of 16
Colts @ Chiefs: I just keep coming back to this game, and I don’t know why – the Colts got bludgeoned by Baltimore in week one and now they’re the visiting team at Arrowhead. Sounds to be a bit much.
Pick – Chiefs | Strength of Pick: 13 out of 16
~ MNF ~
Giants @ Rams: 0-1? Check. Offseason megastar acquisition now injured? Yup. Still the Super Bowl favorites? Hmmm. Not so sure.
Looks like you Rams fans will have to sweat out the autumnal equinox in a way you hadn’t considered.
Pick – Rams | Strength of Pick: 5 out of 16
Enjoy the games ~ Love you guys
Jason
themetalpix.blog 